I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
