wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
