For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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