Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?