your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
literally had 100 drinks last night.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
