Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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