How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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