billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
handjob tips. give me some.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
