i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
