Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
