I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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