you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
