I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
