But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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