Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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