Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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