i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
