Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
