Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
