Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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