Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
