I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
