We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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