when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
