Will you blow on my dice?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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