hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
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I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
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I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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