I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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