i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
