she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Your penis caused this!
Randomize