so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize