This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We left the knife in your bed.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
