WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
