careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
