guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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