Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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