Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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