nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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