Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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