last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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