When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
