The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
