I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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