i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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