Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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