You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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