All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
