Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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