She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
