I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
