Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
