Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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