he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
