I wish life had little blips of pornography
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize