someone get that fucking seahorse.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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