So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
