Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the day after is always just damage control
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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