maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
