He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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