I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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