I wanna passion pit in your ass
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize