everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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