Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
