Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
