She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize