i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i think my cat just said my name.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
